Finding, My, Happy, Women, Empowerment
New,  Wellness

Finding My Happy

Happiness: Getting to the Essence of Who You Are!

Learning to love yourself involves getting down to the essence of who you are as a person and learning how to love what you ultimately discover. It’s totally a process that first starts on the inside. Pretending to be okay when you aren’t ok is not okay! I believe that on that journey three things must occur, so let’s take a moment to talk about those three things.

Looking Inward

Any attempt at becoming a better person requires that one go through the mud. You face the ugly!  Facing the ugly meant that I had to look inward. Over the years I had a chance to see the outward manifestations of my ugly, so I needed to take a peek at what was going on in the inside if I wanted things to be different.

For me that meant:

Praying – to get to the root

Mediating– to get answers and instructions

Spending time alone-to implement the change

Journaling-Getting my thoughts on paper

All of the actions were preceded by two questions:

Why am I continuing to do what I do?

Where did this come from? 

Apparently I was dealing with

  • Abandonment
  • Rejection
  • Neglect
  • Control Issues
  • Trust Issues
  • Body Image
  • Feeling inadequate


The first person in line for forgiveness was myself then others.   Over the years I had become extremely hard on myself. But looking outwardly you wouldn’t know it. Too often through unforgiveness we give people and situations too much power. Allowing unforgiveness to go unchecked led to:  

Bitterness: because of the perceived missed opportunities

Anger: because I viewed myself as the victim instead of taking responsibility for my actions and behavior

Disappointment: Because the end result did live up to my expectations.

Forgiveness is necessary because you must move forward. Some I had a chance to speak with and others I did not and that was okay.

I had to forgive my parents

I had to forgive the man that stole my innocence as a child

The ones that broke my heart as an adult and did everything in their power to break my spirit

People in academia, jobs, social groups, etc.

When I did, my confidence was on swole!

This leads me to the third point: owning your dopeness.

Step outside of the box! Enough with being confined to other people’s ideas and expectations of you.  Develop your own identity wrapped in authenticity

Many of you have so many gifts and talents that you are not operating in and ones that the world needs. I contend that often time’s low self-esteem and a lack of confidence is the culprit. 

Go back to step one and follow the process.  

You are too great, you are to dope, and you have too much talent, wisdom and knowledge to continue to be confined to a box.  You are bigger than your 9-5, a relationship, or what others have deemed you to be.

When you realize this, It is at this point that when you own your authenticity, dopeness, greatness and flaws that you are genuinely and truly happy.

Inadequacy, mediocrity, low self-esteem, and lack of confidence can no longer hang in your dwelling

Your doors are more than open to:

Power, love, acceptance, creativity, persistence, abundance, beauty, wisdom and forgiveness.  All of which you will need on your journey of happiness.

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